Friday, January 10, 2014
As I’ve said before, my (ex)husband and I made the decision to separate in 1994 and divorced in 1996. (Biggest regret of my life, but that’s fodder for another post). I’ve dated off and on since then. First, a great man that I worked with. Then I tried “Love@AOL”. Remember that? As an aside, I just met someone who told me that Match grew out of AOL. I checked and that doesn't appear to be the story on Google. At any rate, over a few years, I met several nice guys in the Philadelphia area and dated (I am a serial monogamous dater). After I moved to the West Coast I joined E-Harmony. Again, met a nice guy and dated him for several years. Then I stopped dating for a while. Then I met a man on my mass transit commute to/from work. That relationship almost went somewhere. Ultimately, good that it didn't, however it almost did. After taking a time out from dating (and/or men, depending upon one’s perspective), I joined “Our Time” in October 2012. Again, met a really nice man, but not “the” man. I ended my subscription to that dating site. At some point, just before 2013 began, the following realization came to me!
Gena, you can sit here on the couch, in your flannel pj’s, watching HGTV (who’s your favorite Property Brother?) while drinking wine, and you can rest assured that no man will come crashing through the door of the house determined to fall in love with you. Perhaps, if your home were on the corner of an intersection, the odds would be greater (he might lose control of his car and come crashing in to the house, but is that really who you would want)? I think not. And besides, you live on a hill with a steep driveway in the middle of the block.
So I joined Match.com. Again, I met several nice men. Then I met who I thought was “the” man. I’ve never felt the way I felt. My comment about that first date “I am amazed that the bar we met at is still standing, because sparks flew wild and fast”. I was smitten almost immediately. My heart skipped a beat. I was swept off my feet. These were feelings I had only read about and never felt. As it turns out, I wasn’t the girl for him. I found what I wanted and stopped shopping. He liked what he saw, but kept shopping. Relationships cannot be built that way. My heart was broken. I stayed on Match; met a few more men, but my heart wasn’t in it. I ended my Match membership effective January 3, 2014.
I have some ideas as to what I may try next. Perhaps something like live matchmaking. Pricey, however as my friend Chris says, I make choices to invest in things I want, like a car, or furniture or wine…if I really want a relationship I should invest in it. I can reduce my wine budget and increase my relationship budget.
Gena, for crying out loud! Get to the point of this post. On the evening of January 2nd, (24-hours before my membership expired) a man from Match contacted me. I.Had.A.Date. Well, a “meet & greet”. It went well. Did my heart skip a beat? No. Did sparks fly? No. Do I have another date? Yes. January 11th. Be still my beating heart.
PS- My son and I love white chocolate. I made peppermint bark for dessert. He was here for dinner. I am the best Mom, at least for this evening.