Wednesday, November 12, 2014

I am a poor blogger at best....

Hi there!  How are you? It has been too long between posts...certainly for me with lots of ideas of things to write about, and on some level I hope it's been too long for you as well.

I'm fine. Just busy, busy, busy!

When the time changes from daylight saving time to standard time in the Pacific Northwest, life can get pretty challenging. Today, November 11th our sunrise was at 7:08 and the sunset at 4:38 - 9.5 hours of daylight.  But wait, it gets worse!  December 21st (the shortest day of the year) the sunrise is at 7:55 and sunset at 4:20 or 8 hrs and 25 mins.  Granted it could still be worse, I could live in Alaska for example.
A sunrise like this - any time of the day is lovely!

I lived in Seattle from 1979 - 1986, and really the darkness, the grey skies, the rain didn't bother me.  I've lived here now a 2nd time, since 2006, just a little bit longer than my first stint in Seattle. For the first time, I am worried.  I am feeling the doldrums. This is feeling as though it may be a long winter of darkness.

I waffle between the positives and negatives of my daily experience. I am lucky and fortunate. I have a job. I own a home (alright the bank owns my home, but I make the payments). My children are healthy and living independently. I am healthy. However, am I doing okay in the Maslow Hierarchy of Needs?

The first level (Biological and Physiological needs - air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep) I pretty much have; my air is clean, I am able to purchase food, I have access to clean water (and wine!), I'm warm and for the most part I sleep alright.  I am currently super single so we won't even talk about the sex part.

I think I have the 2nd level covered pretty well also, it has to do with safety and I am able to protect myself from the elements (I even use an umbrella in Seattle), I feel secure, order, law and stability and I do not live a life of fear.

The 3rd and 4th levels are where I am currently unravelling. I am not feeling the love and belongingness from work or romantic relationships.  My family is so very small and not local with the exception of son "A" who is trying so hard to be independent.  As for friends, my circle has always been small.  And my work life in particular I am find so stressful that my esteem needs are challenged. I am not feeling achievement, mastery, independence, status, prestige, self-respect.

How to create opportunities for connection?  With meaningful work and a meaningful role? How to reduce isolation from friends and family? How to wake up in the dark, drive to work in the dark, and drive home in the dark while finding or creating intimacy, meaning, connection.

It could be a dark winter...

Where do you find yourself, at 50, or 60 or 70 or any age, relative to Maslow's Hierarchy?  Please share a comment below.  I promise you a response back!

My favorite posting from Facebook this week: "It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply". ~ David Jones from Liverpool, England.

The sunrise photo was taken by me!

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