Back in October '16 the "universe" spoke to me, twice through articles. I imagine the "universe" may speak to me more often and that I "can't-don't-won't" listen. Two articles appeared to me during one week about feeling lost. As I considered the Nine Necessary Connections I realized how great the loss has been. I lost the connection to my means of support (financial and in some ways emotional), to place (my home and work), to a group (work colleagues and to a small extent neighbors), to information & knowledge (learning how to negotiate my way through the public welfare system was no easy or pleasant task), meaningful role (my job), and connection to a significant person (many of my work friendships were lost). That is six of the nine connections!
My losses beg so many questions. Will I ever find/have/hold a job again that feeds me intellectually, professionally and financially? Will I be able to find an apartment that I can make a home, and how long will that last given that rental units are generally not "forever" homes? Will I find a sense of belonging/peace/serenity again? Will I once again feel secure in my ability to take care of myself?Will I ever feel "found" rather than "lost".
These articles each suggest a reframe. To consider myself "in between" rather than "lost" as I seek my future? To see this as opportunity, to give up the map I have forged a route on and become open to creativity, exploration and adventure. To use this time to process. To consider repurposing.
The advice from these articles:
Stop the Distractions. Live in the silence and the space.
Notice the Signs
Have Faith. Don't Lose Hope.
Life is a journey. It is easy to become "lost in the in between" and hard not to ask where am I? Am I there yet? Am I taking the right steps?
Do I still feel lost? At times, yes. However I can also say that I am in between where I was and where I am going. This isn't a journey I had any intention of taking especially in my 60's, however it is where I am.
PHOTO: Was taken by me, please don't use without asking. Thanks!